Sun Finally Shone

24 September 2018

Monday

Thule ‘ma was lying on the floor with her son and step-son by her side. She was suffering—gasping, and was in pain all the time. Her health had deteriorated since last two days. She barely was able to drink water, which was being poured through a spoon as if she was newly born baby.

Today none of us anticipated that Thule ’ma would make it any longer. There was crowd in the house since morning. It looked as if everyone was waiting for her to pass-out. Not that my family is cruel to expect so, but because there wasn’t much left in Thule ‘ma and she was suffering every passed time: it was difficult to find her nerves; her right-side of her body was paralyzed; she had lost her whole senses; her skin looked decayed-dark; she was unconscious of her body activities; miracle or death were only the options left for every well-wisher.

It must have been around four. Thuli Daddy asked one of our family priests to start reading Geeta. Thule ‘ma still was suffering and alive. I was there on the premises of the house and all this was happening in the veranda. It wasn’t more than ten minutes or so, I was watching at the roads when I heard a sharp shriek followed by crying. I turned back to the veranda. There were thul mummies, fufu, naule ‘ma, kanchi ‘ma, Zhupi di sobbing. I slowly came near to the body and I saw thule ‘ma no more suffering, but, with her mouth open and eyes closed, relieved!

She was held by thul Daddy on her hand and another thul daddy was helping him pour down the Jeera-water (It has some more constituents). It is a culture that everyone must drop a few drops of that-water once a person has passed away. For a moment when we already though she was dead and were sobbing, it wasn’t only me but everyone saw her gasp loudly. We all thought she was alive, but it was the last breath, I presume because she didn’t take any after that.

There were loud cries all around. I am too weak to watch people cry, I guess. I was feeling numb and was filled with thoughts, bizarre thoughts. I couldn’t cry or didn’t feel that emotional. Maybe, I never was that attached to thuli Ama, or is it because I am a little less humane? I felt bad that I couldn’t get emotional.

You know there always get created a sight when these things happen. All the women cry and all men try to yell at the crying women scolding them why they are crying! Quite an intense sight! Similar was the situation today as well. If I would go on elaborating the scene, I will have to be a good narrator which I don’t think I am. But I can tell you one or two moments that I observed.

Kancha Thul Buwa burst into tears. After all, it is her mother who died. Jetha thul’ba made remark something like: you don’t get started, don’t cry, you aren’t supposed to cry! When Saili ‘ma came in the evening, she cried loudly. But saila Ba (her Husband), he was scolding her not to cry, but jetha thul Ba came and told him to go away and let her cry. And stuff like this here and there! I don’t understand why people yell at the people who are crying. Just let them cry, it helps, honestly. 

Her dead-body lies on the veranda. Her body will be taken to Mahakali only by tomorrow. There is ritual process that follows and that is only possible tomorrow. Also, father and uncle will only make it by tomorrow. Father is in Delhi and uncle is in Kathmandu. They left for Pitamber in the evening.

Let’s see what tomorrow has to bring.